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Vintage Smart-Dog Blog
Blog
Wedding burnout
| Posted on 13 September, 2012 at 5:25 |
I love weddings. I enjoy the ceremony and always feel honoured when I am invited. I also love a good party as much as the next person. I attended a wedding recently (as a guest) and I was really looking forward to it. The ceremony was at 1pm, in a church. After transportation to the reception venue, photos took until 4pm, when we actually sat down to eat. The food was plentiful and delicious. The wine and champagne flowed freely. The speeches were long and detailed. The other guests were really friendly. At 7pm the 'evening do' started: more people, more delicious food and a band arrived. It was a great day..... and the bride was really flagging.  The Bride, normally an extremely gregarious, fun-loving person, was exhausted before the day even started and seemed unable to simply enjoy the day because she "just wanted to sit down and do nothing for a while". She hadn't realised that all of the beautiful 'location shots' she had discussed with the photographer weeks before at the stunning reception venue, would take her away from most of her guests for two hours. She found it intrusive on the day, but he was only doing what she had requested.She admitted to me that, the previous day, she had been planning to put together favours for the tables and all sorts of other little things that brides feel pressured to provide, but realised that it was not that important to have sugared almonds or whatever on the tables. Anyway, she simply ran out of time and inclination. It wasn't as if anyone even noticed! We were all too busy having a good time! The intense preparation, being the centre of attention and the overwhelming emotion of the day itself had taken it's toll. She had reached 'wedding burnout'. Having a reputation as a party animal, she was perhaps the least likely person I know to whom this would happen. When asked (as I sometimes am in my capacity as a bridal designer), my advice, drawn from attending hundreds of weddings, is kept to a minimum. I suggest to brides-to-be to try to do the wedding their own way, to focus on what is really important and to keep it as simple as possible. Afterall it is their day. Easier said than done though. Inevitably, however well-meant, everyone else's opinion often crowds in and, in an attempt to please everyone and live up to expectations, the enjoyment of the couple's day can be lessened. The burden of being a people pleaser, and often an understandable lack of experience in organising such an event. Sometimes, reflecting on the day weeks later, brides have said to me 'I didn't realise.........', 'If I had known........ I would have done things differently....' So much time. energy and money goes into weddings these days. So many hopes, dreams and wishes ride on just one day where everything is so public that, perhaps, a percentage of burnout is inevitable. Unless of course you are the sort of bride who relishes all of the choices, decisions, organisation and co-ordination or can afford to hire a wedding planner to take this on for you. If you'd like to prevent the wedding burnout, it might help not to over-complicate, elaborate, and pile on unreasonable expectations that could take away from the couple's ability to enjoy the simple pleasures and meaning of their special day.
Above all try not to lose sight of what the day is about. Everyone is there to witness the vows and to share the couple's special day. Everything else is just decoration. Text=Copyright. Property of Meryl Smart. 2012 .May not be copied without permission. |
Categories: Bridal and vintage bridal, Wedding tips
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3 Comments
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John Felix
12:29 on 7 November, 2012
Helpful information you've provided here to prevent wedding from burnout!! I'll definitely follow your ways to celebrate my sons wedding parties nicely. Thanks
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Vancouver wedding photographers
5:35 on 6 February, 2014
I am taking the helping tips and hope it will be useful for others too. Thank you so much.
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